Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013, It's Been Real.

Well. It's that time of the year again. That one day everyone realizes that another year has already gone by, and maybe they haven't lived up to their new year's resolutions like they wish they had. The good thing about a year ending is that there is always another starting, and it's never too late to try and become the person you've always wanted to be. This year, I've had my fair share of ups and downs, and there are definitely some things I wish hadn't happened. However, it's those times I feel like I grow the most, whether I know it or not. 

Here are some questions I've come up with to help me reflect on myself this past year, and ways I can hopefully improve on becoming that woman I've always wanted to be. 2013 in reflection, starting now:
  1. Describe the last year in 3 words.
    • Dynamic, Tough, Growing - I chose these 3 words because a lot happened and changed this past year. I moved out from the ADPi house, I broke up with my boyfriend, I asked a guy I liked to formal even though I barely knew him, and I really grew personally and in friendships this past year. I really got to know some of the girls I lived with that I didn't know so well, and they are just amazing people. I don't know where I'd be without them. 
  2. What was the best thing that happened in the past year?
    • The best thing that happened this year had to be getting to know the women in my pledge class better. They are absolutely the best people I know, and have helped me through so much. They were there for me when I went through my breakup, and helped me up when I had fallen down. My breakup was so hard, but it gave me so much time with these "new found friends" I didn't know I really had. 
  3. What was the most challenging thing that happened in the past year?
    • The most challenging thing that happened this past year was my breakup with my boyfriend. He and I had been dating for almost 9 months when we broke up. We had some pretty rough patches throughout, breaking up almost 3 times. The communication just wasn't there, but I really liked him. I spent a lot of time with him, too, which made it hard during down time. Luckily, I had some pretty awesome friends who were always there for me, and talked me through some tough times. 
  4. What was my biggest time waster in the past year?

    • I am not afraid to admit this sadly, but I spent a lot of time watching Netflix. One Tree Hill and Grey's Anatomy consumed a good part of my free time, especially this past fall. I didn't really watch it while living in the sorority except at bed so I could fall asleep and not think about my ex-boyfriend. I love those shows, and am still watching them. I made it through 9 seasons of One Tree Hill (each averaging 21 episodes a season) in about 6 weeks. I averaged about 6-7 hours A DAY watching it this past summer. Yet, here I am watching it all over again. What can I say, I love me some 'flix, and who wouldn't want to watch this hunk of man in every episode?
  5. What do I like about myself?
    • I like how strong I am. I feel like I have been through quite a bit during my time on this planet, and I feel like I have come through every circumstance stronger than I was. I do wish I was stronger when it came to taking things personally or my patience towards others, but that is something I will definitely try and grow in this upcoming year. 
  6. What would make me happier? How can I make that happen?
    • Honestly, and I hate saying this, but I think a guy would make me happy...I know, I know. I don't need a guy to complete me. However, it isn't just the guy...it's what comes with him. That feeling of being loved in a way that other people don't love you. Yes, I have a ton of friends and an amazing family that loves me. But love from a guy you could spend the rest of your life with...now that's pretty amazing. I am so ready to be in love, and to give myself entirely to a guy and just fall hard. In order to make this happen, I have to be willing to step outside of my box. I have to be willing to put myself out there, and not just hang out with the same people all of the time. This is really hard for me for some reason. Maybe I should figure that out first.
  7. What would I like to change about myself this upcoming year?
    • Like I said, I would like to change my attitude and patience towards others. I feel like I get annoyed with my family and friends easily, and I just really want to improve that. I also want to be more willing to go out and do things with friends, and be open to the idea of new things. 
  8. How can I make more time for my friends?
    • We've been told that when going into teaching, you need to know when to put things aside and make time for yourself. This time will include me making time for my friends as well. I need to set aside some time for them and not let that time get interrupted by work, homework, planning, or just wanting to sleep. I can sleep when I'm dead, right? 
  9. What's going well, and what needs improvement in terms of my...
    • Health:  I am so proud of myself for running last semester and this summer, but I really need to try and get back into that habit. I also really need to try and eat healthier...
    • Academics:  I got a 4.0 this semester! It's my third semester in a row getting a 4.0. However, this upcoming semester is my student-teaching internship, so I really need to be able to focus my time and energy on that. 
    • Emotional Side:  
    • Spiritual Side:
    • My Daily Life:
  10. Am I carrying around a problem I need to let go of or deal with?
    • I've been really bitter about my friends Kirsten and Dylan dating really ever since they started. I was so close with both of them, but ever since they started dating I feel like I hardly exist in their lives. I hardly talk to Dylan anytime I am around him now since Kirsten is always there, and when I'm with Kirsten, she's constantly texting Dylan it seems. It's just difficult to want to put that effort forth when I feel like they aren't, but me being a bad friend isn't going to make either one of them change. So I guess I have to do the changing for us. 
  11. What is a goal I'd like to set for the next year?
    • I'd love to start running again. I peaked this summer by running 4 miles without stopping in about 36 minutes. I was so proud of myself, but shortly after that things with school and the sorority started back up and I hardly found time. It felt great being healthier and able to do that, so I'd really like to start that back up again. 
  12. If I were to die in a month, how would I live my life?
    • I would spend it with my friends and family. I think I'd want to do some things I'd otherwise never do, like go sky-diving. My sister did that this semester, and oh my gosh, I am jealous she's so brave. I think it'd be amazing to experience, but I'm a wimp. I'd probably try and cut back my Netflix addition as well so I could spend that time with the people I love :)
  13. Are there relationships I need to mend?
    • Yes, definitely. I think there is always room for improvement when it comes to friendships, however I think I have 2 I really need to mend. The first one is one of my best friends since high school, Kara. She and I spent a ton of time together all throughout high school, but when college came around, especially sophomore year, we started seeing each other less and less. I'd say it's definitely a 2-way street, however I know if I start putting forth more effort, she will, too. The other would be my friend, Kirsten. She and I were really close sophomore year, and still are sometimes. However, ever since our friendship changed when she started dating one of my best friends from high school, things were never the same with any of us. I'd really like to try and be a more supportive, better friend to her. It's just hard when you feel like you're always second. 
  14. What was one unexpected joy this past year?
    • An unexpected joy was probably really getting to know the girls in my pledge class because of the breakup. It was hard at first, it always is. However, I was able to really spend so much time with my friends and focus on building up those friendships. I am so blessed to have the people I do in my life, and I wouldn't change it for the world. 
  15. What was one unexpected obstacle this past year?
    • I would have to say that this one is just from the past 5 months. Moving into a house with 5 girls when you have been living with 80 should seem simple, right? Wrong. It's easy for the most part, but having a sex-crazed roommate that has her boyfriend over all the time and they make messes in the kitchen and rarely FULLY clean it up has been quite the annoyance. Not even just for me, but everyone else I live with, too. This is another whole story in itself. Let's just say that even though they're in the bedroom, you can hear them all the way upstairs.
  16. What are my top 3 memories from this past year?
    • My top 3 memories would be going to Oklahoma with my recent boyfriend. I went with his family and it was all about new experiences for me. I shot multiple types of guns, I hit a clay pigeon in mid-air, tried new food, went on a strenuous hike, and hung around a boyfriend's family for multiple days. Another favorite memory would be living in the ADPi annex. I got to know those 11 women so much better, and I loved every minute of spending time with them. My last favorite memory would be going to Vegas. I am not cut out for that life, but it was a time where we were all together and experienced a city we may never experience again. 
  17. If I could change one thing about this past year, what would it be?
    • I don't think I would have said "no" as much. I would have spent a significant more amount of time going out with my friends and doing more things I otherwise normally wouldn't do. I'm one of those people that are over the bars and would much rather stay in and drink wine and watch a movie. I'm not a big partier, and never have been, so forcing myself to do those kinds of things when I don't feel up to it is hard. 
  18. What is something I am looking forward to in the upcoming year?
    • Student Teaching! I could not be more excited to spend more time out in the classroom. However, I have learned that with student teaching comes the sacrifice of no social life. This is going to suck if that's true seeing that it's my last semester of college. I am going to be so busy, but I will have to make sure to find that time for my friends. After all, it's my last time being around everyone I've come to know and love. I can't leave them out. 
  19. What is something that scares me about the upcoming year?
    • All seniors out there, say this one with me:  graduating. And the real world. Holy toledo, I cannot believe how fast college has gone by. I am less than 5 months away from graduating. On one hand, I feel excited, prepared. On the other hand, I have no idea where I want to teach and live, and that scares the hell out of me. I have lived here my entire life, and it's so hard to think of myself not being here. However, I know that more than likely, I will end up taking a job elsewhere. But, I know that when graduation day comes, I'll be ready for the real world. 
  20. What are 3 words you hope to describe this upcoming year?
    • Successful, Experience, Growing.


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